"The Walrus and the Carpenter"

excerpt from Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There

by Lewis Carroll

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"

The Walrus did beseech.

"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

Along the briny beach:

We cannot do with more than four,

To give a hand to each."

The eldest oyster looked at him,

But never a word he said:

The eldest Oyster winked his eye,

And shook his heavy head --

Meaning to say he did not choose

To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young oysters hurried up,

All eager for the treat:

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat --

And this was odd, because, you know,

They hadn't any feet.

Four other oysters followed them,

And yet another four,

And thick and fast they came at last,

And more, and more, and more --

All hopping through the frothy waves,

And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter

Walked on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock

Conveniently low:

And all the little Oysters stood

And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"To talk of many things:

Of shoes - and ships - and sealing wax --

Of cabbages - and kings -

And why the sea is boiling hot --

And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,

"Before we have our chat;

For some of us are out of breath,

And all of us are fat!"

"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.

They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,

"Is that what we chiefly need:

Pepper and vinegar besides

Are very good indeed --

Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,

We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,

Turning a little blue.

"After such kindness, that would be

A dismal thing to do!"

"The night is fine," the Walrus said,

"Do you admire the view?"

"It was so kind of you to come!

And you are very nice!"

The Carpenter said nothing but

"Cut us another slice:

I wish you were not quite so deaf --

I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,

"To play them such a trick,

After we've brought them out so far,

And made them trot so quick!"

The Carpenter said nothing but

"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:

"I deeply sympathize."

With sobs and tears he sorted out

Those of the largest size,

Holding his pocket-handkerchief

Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,

"You've had a pleasant run!

Shall we be trotting home again?"

But answer came there none --

And this was scarcely odd, because

They'd eaten every one.

'R' Oysters Rocking All Year Round?

One of the biggest myths that a seafood distributor, restaurant operator, or oysterphile must endure year after year is the one concerning oysters and the months that contain an 'R.' Long ago, before refrigeration and improvements in interstate shipping, someone decided that oysters were unsafe and inedible during the summer. But is this true? Are oysters good year round?

First of all, one should note that the so-called "R-Rule" was developed for European oysters, rather than North American oysters. Samuel Butler, author of Dyet's Dry Dinner, wrote in 1599 that, "it is unseasonal and unwholesome in all months that have not an R in their name to eat an oyster." However, it is important to point out that Mr. Butler lived in Europe, and his location significantly alters the discussion in regards to North American bivalves.

The predominant oyster in question during Mr. Butler's days (and still is) would be the flat, European oyster, also known as Ostrea edulis. During the non-winter months, ostrea edulis keeps its young until they can form their own tiny shells. These gritty, rock-like shells forming inside the oyster make the European oyster in question quite unpleasurable to eat during summer months.

So how does that affect North American oysters? It really doesn't. Advancements in technology and transportation have far exceeded what those of Mr. Butler's day could have imagined. Many would argue that the warm waters of the Gulf prevent safe oyster consumption during summer months, while many, including the Department of the Interior, would argue that they were safe. Gulf oysters, as well as the East Coast oyster -- crassostrea Virginica -- do not retain their young like their European counterparts. Rather, the oyster will secrete sperm and eggs into the water during its summer spawn to produce millions of larvae. This prevents them from forming rocky substances within their shells.

Many will argue that, Gulf oysters in particular, lose their flavor during summer months. Robb Walsh, author of Sex, Death, and Oysters argues that they lose their body weight after spawning, and that their flavor falls flat.

When winter waters turn colder at the end of the summer, oysters will store a carbohydrate compound called glycogen. This compound, which has a sweet sensation to humans, accumulates through the winter, causing oysters to become more plump and sweet. Many argue that the oyster's flavor is at its peak during the coldest months.

So in order to preserve the scientific method, we present all oysterphiles with a challenge. Chef Tim Lyons of blu seafood and bar has decided to put the flavor issue to the test. This past January, when oysters are arguably at their peak, Lyons and staff offered an "Oyster Flight Night." This enabled guests to sample 6-8 different oysters from around the continent to not only discern their subtle differences across different appellations and "merriors," but also to test their flavor against themselves when the same oysters are offered in July. On January 27th, the "Oyster Flight" was offered at $10.50 for one of each, and at $20 for two of each oyster. Be sure to rejoin blu in July for the same offer in the middle of the summer, when the pundits and so-called experts argue that the American oysters have lost their flavor.

Will Oysters Help Me Hook Up or Not?

Throughout history and literature, oysters have been highly regarded as aphrodisiacs. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and from whom the word aphrodisiac undoubtedly came, sprang forth from an oyster shell while giving birth to Eros. The Roman satirist Juvenal made mention in his writings of how wine and giant oysters caused recklessness in women. Casanova, the legendary Italian lover, reportedly ate 50 oysters for breakfast every day.
It is indisputable that oysters are renowned as aphrodisiacs, but is there really any truth to this claim?
As it turns out, many studies have been conducted to determine the legitimacy of these claims. Studies have found that oysters have a high zinc content. Zinc is often found in sperm, and men with zinc deficiencies often suffer from impotence. Since men tend to lose between 1-3 milligrams of zinc per ejaculation, oysters are an excellent source to replace this mineral.
Studies funded by the United States National Institutes of Health, in cooperation with the Laboratory of Neurobiology in Naples, found other evidence as well. When testing bivalve mollusks, they found the presence of two unusual amino acids -- D-Aspartic Acid (D-Asp) and N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA). The scientists injected these amino acids into rats and watched as the testosterone levels in the males flew off the charts.
However they caution that cooking oysters in any way tends to diminish the concentrations of zinc and amino acids. These babies are best consumed raw.
Yet some discount the scientific data, looking instead to more simplistic points of view. The image alone of the oyster can account for its aphrodisiac quality. When one thinks of an oyster, one is undoubtedly reminded of its legendary powers, regardless of the veracity of the claims. Also, just as many alleged aphrodisiacs are similar in appearance to a phallus (banana, rhinocerous horn, etc.), the oyster has an uncanny similarity to the vagina, which also can stir sexual desire.
Again, the risk involved can also heighten adrenaline, leading to desire. As famed Irish wit Jonathan Swift once noted, "He was a bold man that first ate an oyster." There is a sense of danger -- a heightened sense of risk -- many people experience when they eat oysters. Rowan Jacobsen, one of America's most prolific oyster lovers, observes, "And you're feeling really good because you've got all this vitality that you've just taken from the sea and put into yourself. You're just feeling good and that can manifest in all sorts of ways."
Tim Lyons, Chef/Owner of blu seafood and bar sees things a different way. "There's a sensuality to eating an oyster," Lyons says. "There is a silkiness in the liquor in the cup, there's a tangy zing from the salinity, the taste of the sea... The entire act of eating oysters is sexy."
Our man Casanova would agree. While most chefs recommend champagne mignionette, lemons or even horseradish with oysters, Casanova had his own serving style:
"I placed the shell on the edge of her lips and after a good deal of laughing, she sucked in the oyster, which she held between her lips. I instantly recovered it by placing my lips on hers."
The government, on the other hand, disagrees. The FDA believes there is no validity to the assumption that oysters act as an aphrodisiac. Leave it to everyone's favorite government agency to suck the fun out of a lovely bivalve. Citing "no scientific evidence," despite the findings posted above, the bureaucrats are trying hard to discount your chance of hooking up tonight. Again.
We encourage you to not just take our word for it. While the FDA has their side, oyster-philes may see it another way. In the end, there is only one true way to find out. Grab a significant other and rush down to your favorite neighborhood seafood joint and order a dozen or so. If you really want to play it safe, order a glass of wine and some dark chocolate too!